One more day...

...till Friday!!!

I have been pretty apprehensive lately because of my hormone levels changing. My hormones have always been out of whack since I was in junior high but this time I can really feel it.

After my surgery, I have been getting contractions, which is typical to have for 6 weeks after delivery. When you are nursing during the first 6 weeks, a hormone called oxytocin is released which causes your uterus to contract. They're not as intense as they were last week and I'm not taking any painkillers for them, though there are days when I feel that I should.

The thing that really takes a toll on me though are the headaches associated with dizziness. I don't even know if this is pregnancy related, but I'm pretty sure it has to do with my hormone levels going back down. Yesterday was really scary because I had a dizzy spell. I thought I was going to faint. Instead, I held Nick's hand and he told me to breathe. After I calmed down, I started praying and I felt better.

Earlier, I got dizzy again. The difference was I didn't freak out. My fiance tells me to just let it happen rather than fight it.

All these physical changes I've been going through have made me feel down lately. I've been doing things like reading uplifting Christian books to help me feel better inside and they really do help me. I haven't felt like myself in a long time (physically) and I'm starting to believe the women who told me that their bodies were never the same after they had given birth.

I notice that I'm not as blue when I socialize myself with people- face to face interaction not via Twitter/Facebook (Myspace = the Wal*Mart of social media networking). There are times when I feel like not talking to anyone or having visitors. I still let them come over though because I know in the end I really do feel better when I see friends rather than to just keep myself closed in.

Wow. This blog in itself has been therapeutic. I hope I didn't make anyone else sad, that wasn't my intention. I just want to share the experience I'm going through with hopes that you send positive energy my way.

Agh... I will be myself soon, I promise!

On a much happier note, I've been having lots of fun with my daughter. I love being with her, holding her, singing to her, and talking to her. She is the love of my life and I'd go through it all again for her!!!