can't help mahself.

Word. Song is ill. The beat just makes you wanna break yo neck.

Yeah. That's what it is. I remember one of the last times I had a conversation with our design editor last year I told him exactly like this, "Dude... I dunno what I'm gonna do. I think I'm gonna go to New York for a semester and grow a beard." Of course it sounded like I was on something when I said that, but it was the beginning of this weird phase I like to call "my quarter life crisis". It's starting a little bit sooner for me, but I was told a few times I have an older soul. Though I won't get into details on this thing, I am smart enough to know that this weird funk that I'm in doesn't and shouldn't overshadow all the blessings in my life.

Things I need to work on at the moment:
-Being a better ME so I can in turn be a better
*girlfriend.
*daughter.
*sister.
*friend.

"Love yourself." You can't give away what you don't have. I think this is the central theme I'm going to focus on this year.

Last night I was talking to Nicholas and he asked me about 50 questions that led both of us to a conclusion. I think too often people become very selfless, attending to other people before attending to themselves. I can say (honestly) that a good handful of my friends, including myself, have this "you before I" principle instilled in us. It could be that whole "Filipino" mentality. You know, if you don't please others it's disrespectful. I think that's why I find myself laughing at bad jokes often.

With me, I know that I found it very difficult growing up with the language/cultural barrier. I grew up in two different worlds. My world at home, a total Filipino household where if you stand up for yourself, it's considered "talking back" and disrespectful. Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

Then there was my other world (anywhere outside of the house) which was the individualistic mentality. The mentality that I can do anything if I persevere persistently because happiness doesn't just fall on your lap.

Peace.