Today I went to assist my mother with a couple of her clients to get some docs signed. I'm still learning and today went like this:

Eat. Watched a few episodes of The Office which is probably one of the funniest shows around. Clean. Get ready. Work. Eat. 32nd St. to buy a memory foam mattress. Church's CHACKEN coz YOU KNOW you gotta pick up some when you're in the hood. Eat. Put my laundry away. Drove around the neighborhood to "think". People tell me I think too much, but I can't help it. It's apart of who I am. Called up the following people just to say wussap: Dennis, Armel (no answer), Alex, Gemma, Marie (no answer), Mike (apparently changed his number). Then got into longer conversations with Medjoy and Arlyn. Man. I was on the phone for a hot one laughing it up, catching up with those two.

With Medjoy it was more like an update, fill me in convo. We talked about cooking, our men, spooning, memory "phone", the PI, work, where I stand in school, why I'm back home and we concluded that the best is yet to come which I 100% believe.

With Arlyn it was a riot. I've known her since I was in 2nd grade and she lived right next door to me. I used to open my mom's bathroom window so I can shout toward her room. We used to have conversations like this from my mom's bathroom to her room just shouting. We were odd kids and we always had fun laughs together.

I notice whenever I talk to her we talk about real $H!+, really serious $H!+ that we end up laughing and joking about. Pure humor and sarcastic wit. When I got off the phone with her, I swear I felt like I was on a good one. Laughter is good for your soul. She also reminded me to pull closer to my faith in God.

In God. I have been praying so hard, every day, and I know that I'm just a tiny little spec involved in this massive design He created. I don't understand but I am here in order to make His design work.

I ask Him everyday what He wants from me and there is never a clear cut answer. I know He's there and I know He's listening to me.

I just feel so blessed to have
-MY AUNTS who treat me like their own daughter. Sometimes I want to cry because I love them so much, especially when I get emails from Auntie Emilie from Thailand, or when Auntie Tjeribon hears me out or calms me down after I get into a conflict with whoever- and vice versa! Auntie Leiriane who cries every time I cry. Auntie Haydee who always cooks for me and makes me baon whenever I visit. Auntie Marjol who has the sweetest soul ever. Of course my beautiful and talented Auntie Madeline, may she rest in peace. I will always remember her "cool"ness. I <3 them so much!
-MY UNCLES. They're all so funny, talented, and hardworking. Uncle Rowen for all the advice. Uncle Remy for all the gifts. Uncle Ronald for watching out for me whenever I'm in the PI. Uncle Andre for being a dad to most of us.
-MY COUSINS!!! What would I do without them!? I have the sweetest younger cousins around! And my older cousins who watched out for me when I was a baby. They make life a whole lot more interesting.
-My PARENTS. My mom who is literally still in the living room working from home. My dad for all of his sacrifices.
-MY BROTHERS who are my angels. Jeryl, the sensible practical one who tries to guide me into the right direction. Lemel, the sweet one who is very helpful and understanding.
-MY FRIENDS. AHHHH. My friends. I swear after talking to some of them earlier, I really feel like I have some of the best friends in the world who got their head on right. When I think of friends, I don't think of just hanging out and having a great time. Yeah, that's apart of it. Friendship to me is about loyalty. Being loyal to one another and that is my PROMISE to my friends. Hey, I may not be dedicated and I know I can flake, but I'm one loyal person.
-MY BOYFRIEND. It's about to be 4 years on Friday. 4 years! I never had anything that long. So much has changed. I have changed so much. Yet there he is, always loving me, trying to understand me, loving me... that's all I can ask for. Simple love.

Thank you LORD, life is beautiful... I still need answers though.

I'm really tired right now. I talk too much. Goodnight.