wherever the wind blows.

Things on my mind right now:

So I moved back to SD, right? And I feel stuck. There's the job thing. I'm comfortable, so to speak, but I still feel unfulfilled and I know this is something I am VERY thankful for. Don't get me wrong. I didn't really work for this position. It was just handed to me. Yet I do feel a void. I don't even think- I KNOW it's because I'm not in school. I can't dwell on that though because it already happened. That's not what's on my mind though. What's on my mind is that I applied for Cal State Long Beach (fall semester) in case Fullerton Spring didn't go through. It did in this case, but I was totally unprepared. I didn't get it and run with it like I was suppose to. So now this decision: Cal State Long Beach. I don't want to move back to LA because my support system is here and I am not ready financially. The chances of me moving there is like 20% move, 80% stay. That is an option though.

I want to go back to school. I can't go back to SDSU because I got kicked out and they are f*cken lame when it comes to readmitting people. I want to stay in SD. I want to go back to school. San Marcos is too far and plus do I really want to go there? God, please help me. I do want to go back to school- I just don't want to be alone. SDSU is trying to put me through hell to get enrolled back with them and I don't want to go there that bad.

Or maybe I just might take my brother's offer to stay up there with him? You see!? This is all jacked up. But whatevs... (shrugs*)

Another thing on my mind: We sang for confirmation today and I went with Uncle Art and Auntie Lupe. Afterward, we ate some Vietnamese food with Albert (pianist). It was fun times. Nicholas, Daniel, and Rachael are very blessed to have well rounded, balanced, hardworking, spiritual and loving parents.

Lastly, what I really want to talk about is my opinion on last week's elimination on idol.







She's cute, no? Her voice is a total powerhouse. A part of me wanted her to win. Though there was another part that didn't because she didn't really show her personality. Because of that, I knew that she wasn't going to win. If a Filipino were to win Idol, I'd want them to have strong character and assured of who they are in the competition. She lacked in that, especially when she tried to be cute all the time. I get it, she's tiny. It's adorable when tiny people act cute. There's a point though where it's like, "Are you fkin' for real?" It was a competition and she didn't show a competitive spirit. So sorry to all my people I'm offending. I know a lot of you agree with me on this though!