I'm going through a really exciting time in my life right now.

I was paralyzed with both joy and terror when I saw the blue cross indicating I was pregnant on the stick. Yup, the pregnancy stick that so many of us women hurriedly go to the supermarket to buy whenever our period is late. Late, indeed, I was.
I matched up the results of my pregnancy test to the leaflet enclosed in the box. Yup, it’s a plus sign. Yup, it means POSITIVE. Of course everything running through my mind was far from anything POSITIVE, although I wouldn’t quite say it was negative. I understood that the life inside me was a work of art from the one who continues to bless us.

Still, I was in disbelief. So I hurriedly went to the supermarket to buy another pack that had three more tests. After drinking about a liter of water, pacing back and forth in my living room while poor Julius is doing work in the dining room trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with me, pissing about three times on each of those darned sticks that changed my life forever, indeed, all three tests came out positive.

I didn’t know what to do. I called up Nicholas, who was still living in LA at that time, and he was not answering his cell phone. No surprise.

“Dammit Nick, answer your Goddamn phone!!!” I said.

After calling him about 14 times and texting him five times, I decided to text our friend Efren for Kevin’s number. Kevin was Nick’s roommate. No response from Efren. More panic-striven, I ran upstairs and decided to call my best friend April to scream to her my
news.

“APRIL!!! I’m pregnant!!!” I screamed.

“Wow, you are just full of surprises,” she told me.

Of course, it was comforting for me to talk to my best friend about what the heck I was going through at the time. You see, whenever any of my girls or I have a problem, we kind of joke about it sarcastically. I like to think of it as laughter dissipating the real issue at hand. After talking to her and her assuring me that she’ll be there for me, I finally got a hold of Nicholas.

“Hey, what are you doing?” I asked.

“Nothing, I just came back from the gym,” he said.

“Oh…. Cool. I have something very important to tell you.”

“What’s up?” he said in his casual tone.

“I’m pregnant,” I broke it to him.
[pause]

“Are you sure???” he asked.

“Uhmmmmmm… yeah. I took like 4 tests right now,” I said anxiously.

“Well… all right then!” he said.

That’s my boyfriend! He really stepped up to the plate because during the following days I was still paralyzed with joy, terror, and (NOW) uncertainty he was there to assure me that everything will be OK.

Some couples feel like the time is right when they first find out they are pregnant. I always thought that’s what it was going to be like for us. You know, to get our careers going first, get married in the church, travel as a young couple, save up money, buy a house, THEN have kids.
That’s not how it’s going down though. Although I don’t see this as an accident because we are both responsible for our actions, I feel as though it’s an unplanned blessing.

I went through the first month, not knowing I was pregnant yet, always tired, sometimes even throwing up, but not thinking anything of it. During the second month when I found out, I always felt nauseated, too nauseated to eat sometime, and upchucking anything that I finally could eat. The third month was the same, but I would take longer naps during the day.

During these three months, the worrying was there. Will I be a good mother? Will Nick tell me how to raise this child? Will he make me feel like I’m doing my job as a mother wrong? Will my mom always be so aggressive? Will she smoke when the baby is born? When will my dad come home because I really would like for him to be here right now?

The night before we had our sonogram, Nicholas and I had an argument (like most couples and if you’re a couple that doesn’t argue then I assume something’s wrong with ya’ll). That night, after the whole ordeal, he came upstairs to give me a hug. How could I stay mad at the loving guy? We forgave each other and that’s something I learned about being in this relationship: understand, love, and forgive.

The following morning, we had our first sonogram. Nicholas was by my side and when the radiologist was able to get a good shot of the baby I looked at the baby on the screen, then I looked at the baby’s father. I cannot describe the look on Nick’s face, but I could tell that he was going through the same emotions that I was going through. It made me fall in with him love all over again. I know, cheesy, yeah, I know, but it’s so very true! That’s what the miracle of life will do to you.

It will make you ready.