"Things will never be the same again."

"Things will never be the same again." A quote/cliche that I understood quite well because day after day things change. Decisions are made and your life is never the same because you chose to go one way when you could have went another way. Not even with just decisions, but you can never get back what once happened. All you have is a memory and sometimes a picture and it will never be the same again.

This time that quote is going directly at me like a bullet from a musket, shot by my love. Things will never be the same again. I don't know why it took this long for it to reach me. Perhaps I have been laughing it off because we all know that laughter dissipates fear. Fear developed by questions of the unknown. I have a ton of questions. I know it's realization and coming to terms with my adulthood. Most importantly, getting rid of the things/people that are keeping me bound to an environment that is keeping me from growing as a person. I know it won't be easy. It's something that I've been avoiding for quite sometime, but I knew that eventually it would have to come.

I spoke to Father Ven yesterday. I was telling Nicholas that when I was talking to him, I really felt the Holy Spirit. I felt like I was going to black out because of it, but I knew it was the Holy Spirit so I was thankful. After our talk though, I felt half of the weight lifted off my shoulders. More weight will be lifted after today, more will be lifted after Saturday, and all of it when ego is put aside. Anyway, he told me that it's OK to not do certain things because people expect it from me. If I keep on doing what people expect me to do, I'll end up being dependent on these people.

I just get frustrated sometime.

Today I talked to my dad. I haven't spoke to him in a while, but it was really comforting to hear his voice. I really miss him and I can't wait till he comes back!

I started a Backroom Podcast Blog. I'm going to fix it up a little bit more later. I noticed some grammar errors, but I'm too damn lazy to do it myself.

LATER!